Report from the front lines

Captain’s Log, Stardate 65261.8

While on routine radar interception patrol, encountered for the second time the fantasy vehicle known as the Chevrolet Volt. To our amazement it achieved speeds of 42 miles per hour, but use of so much electricity must limit observation as it missed the sign that said School Zone, Speed Limit 20.

Although the intelligence of the operators of this vehicle is apparently limited, in the interest of general curiosity I had the chief of engineering analyze the vehicle as a possible children’s car. After spending five minutes in the engine compartment, he went to his office, pulled out a bottle of 20 year old single malt and downed half of it in a single gulp.

“What morons designed this piece of crap!. A reserve motor as your primary source of movement, limited ability to accelerate, few fueling stations, taking hours to refuel instead of minutes and paying twice as much as a normal transporter. This is beyond a bad joke. I would swear a group of lawyers were on this thing’s plan....just pass me the bottle, I wanna purge this from my mind!”

We release it as the inbred stupidity might be contagious and my ship’s physician said he has his limits. We let it go on it’s merry way to explore stupid college parking lots, to seek out more 220 plugs and federal bail outs, to meekly go where no real car wants to go!”