Even the K9 is not taking this too seriously

Not quite as on target as the famous DWI report, "Sighted drunk, arrested same." but it's close...and funnier!

'I chase him, I bite him'... the crime report written by a DOG: Officer investigated after submitting witness statement in character as animal



Police are under investigation for jokingly filling in a witness statement in the name of a force dog.

Officers became exasperated when prosecutors asked for an account of a crime from a ‘PC Peach’, not realising Peach was the name of a police dog.

So they completed the form as if it had been written by the alsatian, and signed it with a paw print.

The dog’s statement read: ‘I chase him. I bite him. Bad man. He tasty. Good boy. Good boy Peach.’

The form was pinned up at a West Midlands Police station last week for the amusement of colleagues, who are often at odds with the Crown Prosecution Service (CPS) over the handling of cases.

Another officer took a photo of the statement and it found its way to a ‘cop humour’ page on Facebook on Friday.

The image was later deleted but the dog section of a different force, West Yorkshire, enjoyed it so much they posted the image on Twitter in a tweet that was shared more than 150 times.

The CPS, however, failed to see the funny side. Officials are believed to have complained to police that their mistake has been turned into a very public joke.

This is being considered by West Midlands Police’s Professional Standards Department and the officer who shared the picture, PC Mark Tissington, referred himself to the internal discipline unit. Sources say he is unlikely to be reprimanded.

DCI Julian Harper, from West Midlands Police, said: 'The Professional Standards Department is looking into this, early enquiries suggest it is a light-hearted exchange as a result of a misunderstanding around a police dog and a police officer. The matter will be investigated.'

It comes just a week after The Mail on Sunday revealed new guidelines for police on the safe use of the internet, which advise officers against sharing ‘operational material’ online.

Ian Edwards, chairman of the West Midlands branch of the Police Federation, said: ‘It’s a difficult time for police and sometimes humour is a way of venting frustrations. I would urge our PSD to be even-handed in the way they deal with it.’ ...

Can you imagine the letter Peach will have to write, "Dear Commissioner Sir Bernard Hogan-Howe, I'm sorry but what was I supposed to do, so I did chase him and I did bite him..."

People at CPS, if you are offended at this you need to get a life. And another job. There are many other things you should get offended at and put your attention to.

Good work Peach!