A tale of two DWIs

In the course of 15 hours I had two drunk drivers at work…tales of being young and stupid.

At 0300hrs on Saturday April 17th I was heading to the station to get off duty (working some OT) when I had a vehicle driving towards me on a one way street…needless to say this came to my interest. Long story short the 20 year old college student behind the wheel had drank “one beer” at the beginning of the investigation…then “two beers” sometime later. She did say she was the designated driver of her group and I agree, of the five people in that car she was the least screwed up. Brought her in to the intox station where she sang for everyone…the male prisoners being processed, the intox staff and the other officers working their cases…she really has a beautiful voice. It was a change to the usual “you f$%^ing stupid fat pigs…..” I generally get from my prisoners.

We got her on video saying she only had one beer while she acted like she just came from a bachelorette party…I really didn’t have the heart to tell her because she is too young to drink any alcohol in the blood is statutory DWI.

At 1800hrs on Saturday April 17th I was going to meet some co-workers for lunch when I got dispatched to a major accident. I get there and the striking vehicle driver (aka Unit 1) is screaming into his cell phone like a 4 year old and stumbling. It’s bad when the medic who looked him over says “He is on alcoholic or something….” After a few field sobriety tests I knew the obvious and cuffed him. After a few minutes reality hit him and he started to kick the rear window of my vehicle (that’s why we got bars on them now). After leg restrains, aka “hog ties” and getting him to the intox station, where he threatened the intox staff, all the cops there and the jail staff. I tried to read him his rights (as required by policy) on camera but he kept screaming “I want my f^&*ing lawyer ….you f^&*ing wetback….” When we told him he was being recorded he looked at the camera and screamed “I want my f^&*ing lawyer you f^&*ing camera…”. After we got charges on him, the jail sergeant had him put in the padded cell…man this guy is going to have a hangover!

As I was finishing the report on Mr. Congeniality at approx 2200hrs Saturday April 17th, the evidence tech that processed my princess during my OT shift early that morning was coming on her Saturday night shift and just looked at me “What are you doing here?” I told her of my new guy, grabbed the video of him in the intox room and had a great time watching him. We don’t have any blood evidence but put that video in front of a jury and they will say in one minute “Looks like a drunk, sounds like a drunk, acts like a drunk…..that’s a drunk!”

Gotta love this place.