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Monday, August 8, 2016

And from the files of the really stupid criminals....

I saw this and had to do a double take.

Woman clubs boyfriend to death because he cheated on her in a dream

SEATTLE, WA – A 28-year-old man is dead after his girlfriend beat him to death because she had a dream he cheated on her with a waitress at a golf course.

According to police, the woman woke the man up to confront him. “It appears as though she did try to get a reasonable explanation from her boyfriend about why he was sleeping around on her in her sleep. When he said he couldn’t possibly know why she had a dream like that, she took out his nine iron and murdered him with it.”

“It still counts as cheating, even though it didn’t really happen,” the woman explained. “He said that was ridiculous, as though my horoscope and subconscious mind were wrong. He attacked my intuition as a woman so I defended myself with his golf club....”
Yea, I think a man would be wise to stay away from this type of person. But it seems to run in the family:

The woman and her family are no strangers to police. Last year her sister stabbed her boyfriend because he didn’t like her selfie fast enough.

Woman stabs boyfriend for not liking Instagram selfie fast enough

CANTON, OH – A 22 year old woman was arrested after stabbing her boyfriend in the face with a sharpened selfie-stick because he did not like her post on Instagram within the allotted 10 minute timeframe.

“This is atrocious, I can’t believe I am being charged for exercising what should be a constitutional right,” says the suspect. “This is 2015. When are the fat cats in Washington going to wake up and realize that when you are in a relationship, you must like your partner’s picture as soon as they post it. If anyone is the victim here, it is me.”

Her lawyer also made a statement. “This young woman acted in self defence, he assaulted her feelings. She spent over 3 hours picking and adjusting the perfect filter for her selfie. She even logged into Facebook Messenger and saw he was ‘online now’ and had yet to acknowledge and validate her appearance, as though he thinks she is ugly. For the man to wait an entire 11 minutes is a senseless, barbaric act of violence towards her self-esteem...”

Then I look into it for a bit and discover it's a satirical site. Still funny as hell! :<)

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